Why do we hate women??

About a week ago, I woke up from a nap and as usual, one of the first things I do is open instagram. The first thing I see on the app isn’t a goofy video or a comedic one- in fact, it’s not funny at all. It’s a video on bbcnewsafrica. The caption of the video is “The Gambia’s supreme court is hearing a case seeking to lift the Ban on Female Genital Mutilation…” The rest of the caption talks about the people behind the action and the reason for their nonsense. At the start of the video is a woman narrating her experience during and after the barbaric procedure she endured AT THE AGE OF THREE!!!!

SHE REMEMBERS HOW IT HAPPENED.

SHE WAS ASKED TO DANCE AFTERWARD.

SHE FEELS PAIN AFTER EVERY SEXUAL ENCOUNTER, FOR 2 to 3 DAYS.

SHE OVERDOSES ON PAINKILLERS BECAUSE OF THE PAIN SHE FEELS SOMETIMES.

To say I was disturbed is the understatement of the century. It took a whole 2 minutes for what I was watching to properly register in my mind. I genuinely thought I was hallucinating or something. I had to pause the video, read the caption and start it again to properly understand what was going on. Later on in the video, a man -no surprise there- who was one of the brains behind the case was detailing the reason the lift on the ban was so important to religion (he’s an Imam) and the culture. Why it was oh so important that women abstained from sexual immorality and FGM was the ONLY way to reduce promiscuity. SIGH.

I have so many questions. First of all, why is the supreme court even hearing this case in the first place?? On what grounds is a case like this brought before a court of law? Why isn’t the discourse around this case more? What happens when the supreme court hears the case and decides that you know what, these people have a point, and decide to actually lift the ban??? What happens then? They go back to openly ruining the reproductive lives of innocent girls openly with no repercussion whatsoever? What the heck?? And don’t even get me started on the questions I have for the Monsters behind the action. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE????? Do you get THAT MUCH joy from seeing women suffer?? This is clearly a play by the patriarchy to revert back to days when they had total and lawful control over women’s bodies, and guess what? As usual, they have people, including women, eating right out of their palms. We’re still talking about FGM? Are these people in 2026 with us?

The taliban is not new to oppressing women. I think that they are in fact, the global leaders of misogyny. This was however, the first time I looked closely at their criminal code and can I just say, WOW. I genuinely believe that these people want to go extinct. That’s the only reason you’d deny women access to healthcare from men and then prevent women from being healthcare professionals by denying them access to education. Oh and men are allowed to beat their wives “so long as there are no bruises and cuts”. In instances where there are bruises and cuts, the woman is supposed to prove a whole lot of balderdash in court. IF the man is guilty, he’s given maximum sentence of 15 days in jail. I stopped reading. I didn’t want to see anymore. I then thought to myself , if reading the code and watching the news items alone is making me sick to my stomach, what about the women actually experiencing these oppressions. All it actually took, was for me to be born in Afghanistan, to someone who isn’t a politician- funny thing is those politicians send their daughters to school abroad- or, to religious parents in The Gambia for me to experience all that was seeing online. I can barely stand needles, so I can’t even begin to imagine what these girls and women are going through.

And then finally, there’s this group of mad people. Rapists and those who defend them. I’m honestly so so so tired of talking about this and trying to explain to people why rapists deserve to experience the gas chamber while sitting in the electric chair. Rape hits close to home because it quite literally COULD HAVE BEEN ME. This is not Afghanistan or The Gambia that we happen to be thousands of miles away from. If you won’t even recognise what these poor women are experiencing thousands of miles away from you, what about the poor girl who happens to be your neighbour? Why is your first instinct to assume that the girl is lying or framing the guy? Nobody is saying that girls are incapable of lying or doing wrong things, but please give us a flipping break. Why is it always “let’s hear the other side”, when statistically speaking, the other side has more often that not, done the unspeakable. That is why there is something called a criminal justice system. It is up to a judge and a jury determine the guilt or innocence of an accused. You don’t determine if someone is guilty BEFORE you send them to court. You don’t do that with killers, you don’t do that with tax evaders, you don’t do that with fraudsters, so why does it have to change with rapists??

Over the past couple of days, there’s been a lot of discourse online about a couple of rape cases that have happened. That is what pushed me to write here. I’ve drafted so many articles in the past about different issues and news items I’ve seen. After yesterday, I decided that something was actually going to happen to me if I didn’t write. The lack of intellect I’m seeing from social media users is just amazing. The ability to reason and draw logical conclusions is lost on an alarming number of individuals and quite frankly, it’s scary. Because what do you mean someone is fighting for her life and mental sanity because one animal with human features decided that her body isn’t hers and ALL THAT YOU CARE ABOUT is what she was doing there. What was he also doing with her WITHOUT HER CONSENT??? Why aren’t you asking that? Somebody is in her apartment, she was attacked, raped and hurt, and after everything she’s endured this year, people are asking to hear the guy’s side of the story. Excuse me, ARE WE EVEN SERIOUS AS A SOCIETY? People will quite literally defend ANYBODY BUT the victim and it’s heartbreaking.

When I was in my final year of Secondary School, it was our turn to organise something we call “Miss House”. It’s a pageant at the house level, whose winner would proceed to the school- level “Miss Nino”. This was a pageant organised by the student body to fully welcome newly admitted freshers into the school community, basically. We had the final selection in our Prefects’ Dorm. Just like a regular beauty pageant there was a session where the judges asked questions. The question we asked the first contestant had a long preamble that I can’t even remember. But It was her answer that stuck with me. She said “If a man rapes a woman, then it is because of what she was wearing, she is likely the one who tempted him, so the man isn’t really at fault”. Brethren, I was sad. I turned to look at my close friend and she just sighed. After the people in the dorm finished blasting her for that answer and she left the dorm, I told the others not to ask anybody that question again. Was it fair? Probably not. But I was already too tired from being in that school with academic responsibilities and all. I genuinely did not have the energy to hear other people give similar answers. The point is, you think such a mentality is a myth until you meet people who actually have it and openly defend it.

What am I getting at?

We live in a society that openly practices elements of hate towards women under the guise of religion and culture and it’s pretty exhausting. Having to dress like a nun and turn on your location at all times and carry a weapon and not walk in dark places at night, not just because you could be attacked, but because people will ask you why you why didn’t take active measures not to be.

The patriarchy KNOWS that people will do almost ANYTHING once they mention God, so they do just that. “God said don’t question your husband”, “God said women shouldn’t be promiscuous”, “God said fashion is a sin”, “God said women should be in places of authority” “God said fight for your marriage”. As a religious person myself, it’s pretty infuriating that people won’t read the bible and understand for themselves what God said. It’s always, “Pastor said God said”. Look, if you want to be a Christian, no one is stopping you. A muslim, fine go ahead. Just stop hiding behind what is at its core, supposed to be a beautiful thing to push misogynistic agenda. God never said it is only women that aren’t supposed to tempt. God never told men that it was okay to maltreat women. Those of you lying in his name will rot in hell. Now that, he said.

The next time you are tempted to defend an oppressor, know that God didn’t ask you to do that, the patriarchy did. If you are defending it in the name of culture, please, it is a useless culture. It has never achieved anything other than feed male ego. Please ask “Where is he, is he in jail?”, “Are you hurt?”, “Do you need help?” and not “What were you doing there?” If it’s too hard for you too, just shut up. If you can’t make things better, don’t make them worse.

Hi, my name is Nissi and I’m new to writing openly. Hopefully, I did a decent job at attacking the nonsense that has been going on. Have a lovely day and don’t be a misogynist. Byeee